Tight cramped hands could hardly open to hold my husband’s hand. Old and familiar pain was paying a searing visit through my neck, shoulders, back, and aimed to set up camp near my hip and I bristled. There’s just so much that must be done today. Our morning routine beckoned and I sank. Claws at the end of my arms. Sigh. Lord, please open my hands. Please. Cancer is pressing in on people I love. There is yarn to work. There’s a little boy’s car to paint. Bread to bake. Clothes to fold. Errands to run. Calls to answer. There’s just so much to do.
Choking on the waves that hit and feel insurmountable. Sinking. Isn’t that what happens to us all when “just keep swimming” is simply trite, far from enough, and life and flesh and this-isn’t-Eden overwhelms?
Friend of grace and beauty, a “notice-er”, saw this morning and came ALONGSIDE {a beautiful word!} as we made our way to worship with our children in their school. Her gift of time and knowledge pierced me through in the best of ways.
“Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus…” (Romans 1:1). Words, that I’m trying to write on my soul. His words given me. Me, worried about how the clothes I struggled into this morning were worn and looked as tired as I feel. My friend? She WORE the words of servitude–servant to Christ, servant to His work, servant to his kingdom, servant to me?
No. That doesn’t seem right. Not me. But there it is, Word made real again, “And YOU (me?) also are among those called to belong to Jesus Christ.” (Rom. 1:6)
Belonging that brings me down to kneel. Kneel in gratitude. And I count the gracious gift of an old thing seen new. Ache. In the old ache of my flesh there is the wonder and promise of new. Imagine! We are IN HIM. Christ Jesus.
The eternity of our newness begins in the here and now. The YES! RIGHT NOW.
It takes shape in us each time our heart chooses “Servant of He” instead of “Master of Me”.
The new is palpable in the presence of His Spirit moving in His people.
Join with me and let go of the too busy too much to do. Oh, Lord, make me too broken not to do. Make me too broken not to notice and act. Work in me, Master and Lord. Lord, open my hands. Open my eyes, my heart, my hands. Make me a Servant of He.
And you know what? He did open my hands today. He will if we ask. He didn’t open them so I could conquer “the list”. He opened them so I could slow down, take Him in, and give His love away.
Grace, Grit, and Glory 